Ultimate Bondometer: Dr No (part of Blogalongabond)

Dr No (1962)
Director: Terence Young
Cast: Sean Connery, Ursula Andress

And so Blogalongabond begins. Many have tried, and many have failed, to put the Bond franchise into some kind of meaningful hierarchy. If you always wanted to know where your favourite Bond actually scientifically ranks in the grand 22 007 films thus far, then look no further.

So, without further ado, Dr No may be the first Bond, but is it definitive Bond?

Gadgets: 2/10

Distinctly lacking! Mr Bond is truly a man relying on his own wit and instinct in his first outing, with his only real aide being the now infamous Walther PPK, with a "delivery like a brick through a glass window".

Henchman: 2/10

Professor Dent: Honestly - useless. Ironically he barely makes a dent (hey! hey!) on the plot, his best plan to kill Bond being a lethargic spider. Ultimately his doom is down to never having watched Dirty Harry (that's a deep one that is).

Evil mastermind: 5/10

Dr No: Despite only appearing onscreen for about 12 seconds, Mr Dr No is an intimidating and threatening character throughout. However, he is let down by a poor dastardly plan with vague ambitions to ruin America's space programme, and a mechanical hand which never once is used to crush a man's skull.

Girl: 9/10

Well of COURSE there is THAT scene. Of COURSE she is very beautiful. Of COURSE I want to buy my wife that bikini. BUT...um...I 've run out of arguments. Andress is iconic, beautiful and resourceful, the only reason she loses a mark is that not ONCE does she scream. Disappointing.

One Liner: 10/10

"Bond, James Bond" - the quote that launched a thousand pick up lines, it's the stuff of legend and, as such deserves no less than to be ranked as one of the greatest one-liners of all time. (In related news, it would seem that to be an actual hero, the initials J.B. are important. Observe - Jason Bourne, Jack Bauer, Jesus of Bethlehem etc)

Awesome Kill:3/10

Worst final fight in the history of Bond films but the ultimate death of Dr No is noteworthy at least because he is left to die in water - water made awesome by becoming a bubbling mass of nuclear energy (i think).

Crazy, mental stunt: 1/10

Um, hiding underwater with reeds?

Credits: 7/10

Major points for the John Barry score being used. Minus points for the use of coloured circles as effects. However, ultimate plus points for the introduction of the infamous female silhouettes dancing.

Mode of Transportation: 3/10

Sunbeam Alpine:
I know, hardly an Aston Martin is it:
"What are you driving there, Mr Cold, Hard Bad-ass Assassin Spy Man?"
"Uh, a Sunbeam".
Hm...


Sicklist Rating: 7/10

Certainly not the most dynamic or exciting, Dr No is more a detective story with odd moments of fairly controlled actions set pieces. However, there are enough legendary firsts and impressive character quirks to whet the appetite for what is to come.

Bondometer Total:

49/100