Top Ten of 2011

10 - Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Spy
Strikingly shot and with a dream cast of Britain's greatest (with special mention to Oldman, who is nothing short of captivating) this is a classic espionage thriller with all the twists and turns required to entertain, as well as a dignity and grace that is a welcome counter to the Bond/Bourne “blow ‘em ups”.

9 - Fast and Furious 5
Despite previous Fast and Furious movies landing somewhere between dubious and diabolical, this testosterone treat is so over the top that every second is a sweat drenched, bicep tensed, behemoth of escapism.

8 – True Grit
The Coen’s most successful film to date combines the quirky supporting characters and super quick wit that they have become known for, and imbues it with a whole heap of heart in the double act of the precocious Hailee Steinfeld and gruff-as-a-billy-goat Jeff Bridges.

7 – Never Let Me Go

Despite three astonishing central performances and it’s intoxicating pace and tone, Never Let Me Go is certainly not a party in the park. However, it is both tragic and riveting, a vital and
moving examination of what it means to live and love.




6 – Super 8
The summer’s most distinctive and heartfelt film, with a hugely impressive young cast, Super 8 is a wonderfully rich homage to the classic Spielberg family films of the 1980s. Despite losing the sense of wonder and intimacy in the final act, it remains a worthy heir to the work it emulates.

5 – Rise of the Planet of the Apes
A surprise hit, given the flop of the Burton-directed effort. However, with a staggering performance from Andy Serkis as revolutionary Ape, Ceasar, as well as some of the most exciting set pieces of 2011, ROTPOTA is not only technically brilliant, but also a major highlight in a well-loved set of films.

4 – Hugo
Both a tribute to classic cinema and to the wide-eyed wonder of youth, Scorsese wears his heart on his sleeve. With sweeping, outlandish visuals, colourful characters and a sense of childish adventure which is intoxicating, Hugo is pure movie magic.





3 – The King’s Speech
The chest-swelling story of one man’s victory over fear, may be a straight forward crowd pleaser, but few films this year have had such mass appeal alongside such overwhelming critical acclaim. Heart-warming, and thoroughly British.

2 – Warrior
Warrior stands easily alongside the greatest of fighter films with two powerful performances from Hardy and Edgerton, gritty and dynamic MMA fight sequences, and a “pump-your-fist-in-the-air-while-wiping-tears-from-your-eyes” finale.

1 – The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn
A rip-roaring romp of an adventure, with eye-popping visuals, larger than life characters, and one of the greatest chase sequences ever committed to film. While other films may have more dignity, deal with more important themes, or demand further analysis, none were this much fun!

The Tourist, or The SNOREist!!! (aha!) - live blog.

I got so bored during this film, I decided to live blog it. You join me 1hr in. Current annoyances:

For an A-list couple, Jolie and Depp have ZERO charisma and chemistry.

The film is set at a pall-bearer's pace, ambling from one non-scene to another.

The soundtrack is fighting, fighting, fighting to make us care, but ends up intrusive and inappropriate.

It's almost impossible to understand who is after them and for what reason.

It feels like all The budget was blown on the two key stars and location, so there was nothing left for script or actual action locales - green screen is used with a 1950s level of regularity.

Now you are caught up with the inactivity, we are going live....

Ballroom scene: No, the budget was actually blown on this scene. Opulent isn't it.

Depp's hair is inexplicable. As is Jolie's accent.

Please stop talking/unnecessary expositioning.

Paul Bettany needs to do a decent movie some day.

"I shouldn't be here"- Jonny Depp. No, you shouldn't. Go back to doing something decent, like, um, Pirates 5?!

There is more background exposition in this film than actual action.

Worst bad guy ever!!! "I'm going to push bookcases over until you talk!!!" Gah!

Who actually knows who Depp's character is and who cares why he is who he isn't, but may not possibly be, if.

Jolie silently mouths "i love you" as Depp walks in super, super slow-mo across the room. I miss Brad Pitt.

Oh yeh, Timothy Dalton is in this film. For 26secs.

Final line: "It'll do". No, no I'm afraid it simply will not do.

So, in conclusion, yes it is as dire as you were told. Please avoid.

Captain America

Captain America (12A)

Director: Joe Johnston

Cast: Chris Evans, Hayley Atwell, Stanly Tucci, Hugo Weaving

So here it is, the final chapter in the prologue to the Marvel masterplan of the Avengers superhero mash-up! And they didn’t save the easiest till last. The very name, Captain America, is a hard sell, with multiple hyper-patriotic pictures dampening worldwide zeal for all things Uncle Sam. Certainly, contemporary perception of the star-spangled superhero would stamp his character as irrelevant and outdated, ironically a theme of the comic book series. Despite that, with Thor, Kevin Feige (Marvel Producer) and company have already done the seemingly impossible – making a Norse God relevant and relatable. Hopes are high that they can perform the same magic again.

However, until we see Cap (aka Steve Rogers – played with surprising dignity and stature by Chris Evans) in all his Nazi-kicking glory, we must endure the obligatory origin story. Currently Cap, a digitally downgraded Evans, is a weedy asthmatic whose only desire is to fight for his country despite his physical inability. Enter Dr Abraham Erskine (Stanley Tucci in one of a number of scene-stealing supporting roles), and his super-soldier serum, turning Rogers from a wimp with heart into the ultimate fighting machine. Early scenes do border on the melodramatic, reminiscent of the far-too-silly scenes in Spiderman 3, turning what should be light and fun to borderline pantomime.

However, this frustration pales once Captain America gets his muscles and launches into full-throttle, evil-whooping top gear. With his small company of soldiers, Cap goes about wreaking havoc on the Nazi independent group, HYDRA, headed up by the mysterious Johann Schmidt, aka the Red Skull, (played with typical slimy superiority by Hugo Weaving), a man intent on harnessing the power of a mysterious artefact.

More so than any previous Marvel film – with perhaps the exception of Iron Man 2 - this does feel like an extended set-up for The Avengers. Clear themes run through, from the use of Tony Stark’s, aka Iron Man, father Howard (Dominic Cooper), through the serum which will eventually turn Bruce Banner into the Hulk, to the power cube which will no doubt play a role in the upcoming film. Above all, the film must attempt to introduce Evans as the man of stature who will ultimately lead the assembly of superheroes. However, none of this ever feels forced and strands thread together quite naturally, only raising anticipation for the upcoming feature.

The main reason Cap’s extended origins succeed lies in the aforementioned supporting cast, of which there are many stand out performances. Hayley Atwell is a strong counter to Evan’s Rogers, while Tommy Lee Jones as Colonel Chester Phillips comes perilously close to stealing the film. There are some tantalising nudges towards future possible Captain America adventures – Bucky (Sebastian Stan) and Red Skull are key characters left suitably open-ended – and a real sense that, in the right directorial hands, this world and characters that Marvel are creating will have plenty of mileage beyond next year’s tentpole event.

Rating: 4/5

DVD Hit: The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec (12A)

The Extraordinary Adventures of Adele Blanc-Sec (12A)

DVD Release – Available Now.

Director: Luc Besson

Cast: Louise Bourgoin, Mathieu Amalric, Gilles Lellouche

Director Luc Besson is perhaps the Director who has made the transition from France across the Atlantic most successfully. As a director he has been responsible for such cult classics as The Fifth Element and Leon, as well as penning the Transporter series and Taken, among others. With a keen eye for drama amidst his sharply executed action sequences, femme fatales and trippy visuals, a Besson film can be many things, but never dull.

Adele Blanc-Sec (Bourgoin) is ostensibly Indiana Jones as written by Jane Austin - an intrepid explorer seeking ancient treasure, who happens to be a lady. Do not confuse Adele for Lara Croft – this is certainly a better affair, as it breezes through without the pretensions of the other Jones rip-off. Equally, Louise Bourgoin is a far more amiable presences than Ms Jolie, both feisty and vulnerable, giving real heart to proceedings.

As one character states, with Adele Blanc-Sec it is best to not ask how or why – such answers are unnecessary and really distract from the pleasure of the experience. More than once, the charming quirk sails perilously close to farce, but eventually manages to emerge, admittedly with a few bumps and bruises, as an enjoyable adventure romp with plenty of charm.

Rated: 3/5

Cars 2 - (U)

Cars 2 - (U)

Director: John Lasseter

Cast: Owen Wilson, Larry the Cable Guy, Michael Caine

The comparison was never going to be fair, but the opening Pixar short makes it abundantly clear; Lightning McQueen (Owen Wilson) and best friend Mater (Larry the Cable Guy), are just not in the same league as their Toy Story counterparts. Following Mater the pickup truck, now inexplicably taking centre stage, is a wearing experience to say the least, his dawning revelation that he is, in fact, a pain in the boot (hey!), being almost as trite as his slack-jawed yokel routine.

Making the decision, however, to move the action away from the desert town of Radiator Springs was a wise one. The beautifully realised European and Japanese locales, the setting for McQueen’s series of races and entertaining James Bond-esque story of corporate sabotage (providing some of Pixar’s best set pieces), are breathtaking - especially with the surprisingly effective 3D. Regardless, Cars 2 is sadly stuck in neutral, never quite managing to shift into top gear.

Rating: 3/5

One flew over the cuckoo's nest

Due to gentleman's honour, I have been unable to discuss Filmclash film opinion until post-recording. Here's my brief thoughts:


Watching OFOTCN is kind of like being hit by a truck straight after a party. Very funny, with unbelievable performances, beautifully realised character arcs, but with a devastating conclusion.
Can one man's lust for life be contained by external oppression? No matter how much it is crushed, can the human spirit ever be tamed? Based on this evidence, i think not.

Key words: Breathtaking, hilarious, crushing. Vital.

Sicklist Diagnosis: Advanced stages of shell-shock, with signs of growing optimism.

A new dawn awakes...

In an effort to actually make something of this blog, within the limited amount of time I have, I'm going to attempt shorter, more regular posts - perfect toilet reading, as most of the writing will take place there.

Harry Potter is out today, so here's a monkey wearing Harry Potter glasses:





(also, check out my review below)

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (12A)

Director: David Yates

Cast: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emily Watson

It is impossible to review Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Pt.2 (from now, HP7b) simply as an isolated film. Anyone who has spent the last ten years in the company of Harry and friends, will have expectations raised inordinately high for a satisfying conclusion to the epic cinematic journey. Thankfully, for all concerned, HP7b is thrilling, dynamic and thoroughly engaging, easily becoming the high water mark of the series, bolstered by the extra sense of occasion afforded by that which has gone before.

Most notably, the sense of scale, which was lacking in previous adventures, is finally apparent. It has always been a frustration that the rise of Lord Voldemort over the last few films seemed to be rather too easy. Where, for example, was the equivalent of the Riders of Rohan streaming over the horizon to the defence of the Citadel of Hogwarts? The world of Harry Potter felt a little too small.

Here, however, the series finally spills over into the epic. Thousands of Voldemort’s followers descend on Hogwarts in fury, as the remaining magical community make their last stand. Meanwhile, the intimate story of the central three teenage friends, always a strength of the series, is woven artfully into the grander scale, as Harry, Hermoine and Ron attempt to destroy the last of Voldemort’s soul-containing Horcruxes (yes, you really do need to have kept up) in order to finally destroy the One Who Cannot Be Named (or the One Who Is Now Inconsistently Named).

After the lacklustre pace of The Deathly Hallows Part One, all of magical hell is unleashed here in spectacular fashion, with copious amounts of death and destruction of school property. However, while the action and digital effects are well above the standard previously on display, the real joy is found in some of the great British thesps demonstrating their full acting chops. Ralph Fiennes is finally given room to revel in his full maniacal malevolence, Professor McGonagall’s (Maggie Smith) icy exterior breaks wonderfully, and Alan Rickman’s Snape, a long-standing gem of the franchise, is given the most emotionally impactful moment of them all.

There are definite flaws. The Epilogue, which in the book served as a pleasant coda, on film is unintentionally amusing and totally unnecessary, grating against the grain of the tone previously established. There are also some fairly dodgy face-editing techniques employed, and some of the more significant emotional moments feel a tad hurried. However, when all is done, this is a marvellous send-off for the boy wizard, a fitting conclusion to one of the most successful franchises of all time.

Rated: 4/5

Transformers 3:Dark of the Moon

Transformers 3: Dark of the Moon (12A)

Director: Micheal Bay

Cast: Shia LaBeouf, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, Tyrese Gibson

Once in a while, a film comes along that is something quite special. Setting the standard higher than any that has gone before. Such a film has the ability to unite people in a common purpose, no matter what walk of life they come from, enabling young and old, rich and poor, to put aside personal differences and agree together on one a common opinion...disgust!

It's not that Transformers 3:Dark of the Moon is just bad - that, this trilogy will be long remembered for. Instead, Micheal Bay has upped the ante once more and has created a "film" that not only succeeds in being vapid, obnoxious and offensive, but downright boring. The plot that exists is a hotch-potch of half-ideas, beginning in the 1960s with the suggestion that the American space programme and moon landings (via some shocking intercutting of real footage) were an effort to reach a crashed Autobot vessel (they are the good robots - you can tell because they don't have evil red eyes). This ship carries 'pillars' which have the ability to open portals which allow teleportation. Cue the Decepticon's (red eyes) fiendish plan to bring their home planet of Cybertron to Earth, enslaving mankind in the process.

TF3 is a game of two halves.

For the first hour exactly nothing happens. Not only does nothing happen, but when it does happen, it is garbled and confusing, with big jumps in continuity and logic. Sam Witwicky (Shia LaBeouf - the human hero of the previous two outings) finds himself searching for work while also struggling to come to terms with the fact the Autobots no longer need him. Fortunately for Sam, he has a new girlfriend, possibly the least developed and most insincere relationship ever commited to celuloid, played by super-model Rosie Huntington-Whiteley in inimitable Bay style, with minimal charisma and minimal clothing. In Bay's world men are either soldiers or gay, women are either supermodels or Mrs Trunchbull tyrants (with insinuations of lesbianism), and ethnicities serve only to be stereotyped (only black people say "wak"). All familiar territory for the Transformers world, but Bay truely outdoes himself with some horrendously thoughtless references to 9/11 and Chernobyl. Classy.

(NB. This is a 12A rating but due to sexual content, innuendo and swearing - not to mention the regular Hostel-style disembowling of robots - it should be avoided for younger audiences. .)

Played largely, and largely unsuccessfully, for goofy laughs, the first hour feels like a holding pen until the director can unleash his trademark Bayhem in the second half. Surely this will redeem the film, especially in the glory of 3D?!

Well, no actually.

Devoted to one long fight scene, this should be visceral, mind-blowing, red-hot action. Granted, the CG is effective, robots really do look like they are hitting each other, and a free fall set-piece is very well done. However, despite so much going on (explosions, mecha-crunching fist-fights, lots of running and shouting) there seems to be very little happening. Sure, there is lots of noise and stuff, but it's all so overblown that it's difficult to get a handle on anything, making what should be exciting, well, boring.

It appears that Bay does not have an original idea in his head. Decepticon spaceships and technological hardware are a 'who's who' of other alien incarnations. Humans are dispensed of in War of the Worlds dust-clouds, the motherships are Skyline carbon-copies, and the snake-like droids have been seen ad nauseum attacking The Matrix's Zion. (There is also a horrendous amount of copy-and-paste dialogue. Guess the films: "I'll never let you go", "There can only be one", "With great power..." yadda yadda yadda...). The random splicing of half-finished scenes, breathtakingly poor soundtrack choices, and rapid cuts is entirely disorientating, causing the viewer to slip into a kind of action-induced coma.

Having spent so much on CG effects, Bay clearly had no money left for insignificant details like script, story or acting direction. Forget the Blockbuster cliche "it's just a bit of fun" - it isn't. It is boring and senseless, leaves a bitter after-taste, and gives the best reason yet to close down Hollywood forever.

Rating: 1/5

Kung Fu Panda 2 Review

Kung Fu Panda 2 (PG)

Director: Jennifer Yu
Cast: Jack Black, Angelina Jolie, Jackie Chan, Dustin Hoffman

If you had to choose a mammal to do Kung Fu, a panda does not immediately spring to mind. This premise is what set the initial fuzzy fighter film apart, being, as it was, a movie about the most unlikely of creatures becoming a martial arts master. It was fun and action-packed, with a knowing wink to the kung fu films of old.

This sequel suffers from being (a) far less fun, and (b) far less fun. An effort to unveil the truth of Po’s (Black) “surprise” adoption and a journey to find his inner peace, the film suffers from an ill-conceived effort to be more mature, becoming far more serious and getting mired in overbearing sentimentality. There are some nice visual flourishes and it does look beautiful in places, but the animation flair runs dry in the cut-and-paste fight scenes which dominate the second half. Sadly, far from being sheer awesomeness, this panda is more sheer tediousness.

Rating: 3/5

Green Lantern Review

Green Lantern (12A)

Director: Martin Campbell

Cast: Ryan Reynolds, Blake Lively, Peter Sarsgaard, Mark Strong

DC comics hold some of the comic book world’s hottest properties, with the major leaguers including Superman and Batman. However, it is fair to say that the Green Lantern (here, Ryan Reynolds), the only human member of an intergalactic police force that harness the green energy of will power, has never really hit such dizzying heights of popularity; and on this evidence, perhaps never will.

While the first and final acts sizzle with energy and creativity, the film is overwhelmed by a stifling mid-act which is so static and thick with exposition, it almost derails entirely. Along with wasted secondary characters and poor chemistry from the leads, there is jarringly over-baked emoting, smelling strongly of mature cheddar. The effects are mixed, veering from Avatar-levels of detailing on the planet of Oa - the home of the Green Lantern Corps - to shonky set-pieces and unintentionally hilarious CG characters. Sadly, Green Lantern emerges looking less a super-hero, and more a super-snot!

Rating: 2/5

May Tweeviews

Attack the Block (15): London hoodies take on alien invaders. Great concept with well measured blend of humour and drama. Chavs rule! ★★★★☆

Fast Five (12A): Not so much a film as a series of loosely connected ludicrous action pieces and The Rock. Unintentionally hilarious. ★★★☆☆

Hanna (12A): Unique, stylish noir thriller in a Grimm-inspired quasi-reality. With a teenage girl assassin. Quite brilliant. ★★★★☆

The Way (12A): Family Sheen manage to produce an intimate journey of self-discovery and redemption which isn't boring. Kudos! ★★★★☆

Thor (12A): The trickiest Avengers set-up is loud & colourful fun. OTT godly campery, alongside witty earthly banter. Marvel's best to date! ★★★★☆

Water for Elephants (12A): Less elephant + more Patterson = charisma imbalance. Waltz saves it from sugary schmulz, but only just! ★★★☆☆

The Way (12A)

The Way (12A)

Director: Emilio Estevez

Cast: Martin Sheen, Emilio Estevez, James Nesbitt

“You don’t choose a life, you live one”. Tom (Sheen), a buttoned-down eye specialist, is haunted by these parting words from his adventuring son, Daniel (Estevez). When he receives a call that Daniel has died on the El Camino De Santiago trial, Tom decides to finish the journey his son began. Joined by an assortment of fellow pilgrims - some of whom do border on caricature – he leaves his safe and sterile life behind and sets off into the unknown.

Stunningly set against the vast and sprawling countryside of Europe, The Way is an intimate story of one man’s attempts to reconcile a lost relationship, while also opening himself up to rediscover his need of faith and of community. Father/son combo Sheen and Estevez have crafted a very personal journey, appropriately set at a walker’s pace, allowing the film to breathe, and the viewer to absorb both the scenery and characters.

Rating: 4/5

Water for Elephants (12A)

Water for Elephants (12A)

Director: Francis Lawrence

Cast: Robert Patterson, Reece Witherspoon, Cristoph Waltz

With the notable exception of Jurassic Park, films centring on pseudo-anthropomorphic creatures - be it dog, monkey or killer whale – have the unerring ability to become cookie-cutter, over-sentimental, bargain bin trash. Thankfully, with Water for Elephants, such clichéd pit-holes are avoided, minimising the elephant element, and focussing more on the human love triangle of the circus hand (Patterson) falling for the beautiful wife (Witherspoon) of the jealous, and slightly deranged ringmaster (Waltz).

Patterson is still very much Twilight’s Edward Cullen, simply transferring his brooding vampire intensity to a less supernatural prohibition America. There is plenty to look at, with lots of fine period detail, and enough menace from Waltz’s character – the finest thing in the film - to avoid becoming too saccharine. Unfortunately, the Titanic style book-ending feels too neat, destroying any opportunity for real tension, and creating a regrettably hollow pay-off.

Rated: 3/5

Hanna (12A)

Hanna (12A)

Director: Joe Wright

Cast: Saoirse Ronan, Cate Blanchett, Eric Bana

She’s only young, bless her, but she really can kill people! Hanna (Ronan), brought up by her father alone in the snowy wilds, has lived a life of isolation and preparation in order to become the perfect assassin, while fulfilling an as-yet undisclosed purpose. Set in a Brothers Grimm-inspired quasi-reality, Hanna is full of outlandish fairytale characters (Tom Hollander’s freaky killer is a particular highlight) and even more outlandish action set pieces, but is at heart the story of a girl trying to find her place.

Director Joe Wright does have a tendency to veer between tones (evidenced in Atonement), lurching from action, through broad comedy, to noir thriller with little warning. While this has the potential to be disorientating, the relentless pacing, married to a pitch-perfect score from The Chemical Brothers, and grounded by Ronan’s vulnerable, yet hard-ass central performance, keep the plot fizzing along nicely.

Rated: 4/5

My Birthday List

These are films I would like to own. It gives you an idea of my quite distinctive tastes.

Please do not feel any pressure to buy me anything (Karen is no doubt planning to shock me with all of them!), but if you do, please do remember what a significant impact I have made on your life to date... (any gifts from my followers in Pakistan and other such foreign lands can be sent to The Megacentre, Sheffield, S2 5BQ)

The Kings Speech

Monsters

Hitchcock 14 disc box set

Unstoppable

The Town

Scorsese Box Set (green with red face on)

Planet of the Apes collection – 6 disc box set

David Lynch Collection

Seven Samurai

West Wing Box Set

12 Angry Men

One flew over the cuckoos nest

Sunset Boulevard

Dr Strangelove

The third man

Breakfast at tiffany's

All about eve

The 400 blows

Rubber (15)

Rubber (15)

Director: Quentin Dupieux

Cast: Stephen Spinella, Roxane Mesquida, Wings Hausner

Robert is a tyre with telepathic powers; powers he uses to destroy people, small mammals and, in one particularly upsetting scene, a plastic bottle. Robert sets his sights on a small desert town, leaving a trail of destruction and exploded heads in his…um…tread (sorry).

While on the surface, the set-up sounds like – and should have been - a farcical, meta-textual parody of schlock horror, the reality is that Rubber is too self-conscious to be thoroughly enjoyable. The fourth wall-breaking subtext of a film within a film feels strained and unnecessary, while the tyre itself has more charisma than most of the cast.

Technically, Robert is a success, teetering and swaying in early life, gradually gaining a confidence and personality of it’s/his own. However, the opening scene, stating that the film is a homage to ‘no reason’, sums it up - interesting, quirky, but ultimately meaningless.

Rating: 2/5

How to Sound Semi-Knowledgeable when talking Oscars 2011

For those of us who stayed up till Stupid O'clock to watch it streamed live on dodgy wifi connections, we have our reward in full. However, most normal people just want the bullet points so they can impress people with their general knowledge. So, really quickly, here are the key things you need to know about last night's 83rd Academy Awards:

The Oscars are "cool" - James Franco and Anne Hathaway (otherwise known as "those pretty young things") did their utmost to demonstrate that the Oscars are hip. However, Franco looked like he had taken a few too many chill pills, whereas Hathaway definitely needed a few more.

Don't do drugs kids

Surprise! - While it's no real surprise that The King's Speech won Actor in a leading role (Firth doing a thoroughly good job with a spiffing acceptance speech) and Best Picture, what was a surprise was that Hooper won best Director, especially given that the BAFTAs had given it to Fincher for Social Network. How terribly odd.


Unforgivable Snub #1 - While there were no huge surprises on the night, there were two notable snubs. The most horrendous oversight being that Christopher Nolan (pictured, in all his beauty, above) was not even nominated in the Best Director category for Inception. This is a particularly grave error when you consider the film was nominated for best picture and won Oscars for Sounds Editing, Sound mixing (whatever the difference is!), Visual Effects and Cinematography, all good indicators of a well directed film!


Unforgivable Snub #2 - Roger Deakins missed out in the Cinematography category for his work on True Grit. Now, Inception is a worthy winner, but consider that Deakins still has never won an Oscar, despite being responsible for such gems as The Assassination of Jesse James, The Shawshank Redemption, and pretty much the entire Coen Brothers back-catalogue, and you appreciate what an outright travesty this is!


Best Actor in a Supporting Lead role - Both best Actor and Actress in a Supporting Role went to The Fighter, with Christian Bale and Melissa Leo both picking up the hallowed Golden Fella - not to mention Amy Adams also being nominated! No problems there, but surely this is at least in part down to the brilliantly under-played central performance of Mark Walhberg, allowing the supporting roles to become larger than life, while he remains the peace in the storm, grounding the whole affair. Go team!


Best Film in the Foreign language that no-one has seen or probably ever will - Some kind of Danish effort called "In a Better World". I know nothing about it other than the poster looks really dull and intense.


Aron Sorkin won Best Adapted Screenplay - Nothing much to say, other than he is a dude, he did the best acceptance speech, choked up to cover the fact that he forgot his wife's name, and he once said a question that I asked him was, and I quote, "A good question..." Here's a picture because you love him...


And Finally... - Some kids sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which almost made me throw up the inhuman amount of popcorn I had eaten. How NOT to end a show! I will leave you with a picture of the cherubs...