I got so bored during this film, I decided to live blog it. You join me 1hr in. Current annoyances:
For an A-list couple, Jolie and Depp have ZERO charisma and chemistry.
The film is set at a pall-bearer's pace, ambling from one non-scene to another.
The soundtrack is fighting, fighting, fighting to make us care, but ends up intrusive and inappropriate.
It's almost impossible to understand who is after them and for what reason.
It feels like all The budget was blown on the two key stars and location, so there was nothing left for script or actual action locales - green screen is used with a 1950s level of regularity.
Now you are caught up with the inactivity, we are going live....
Ballroom scene: No, the budget was actually blown on this scene. Opulent isn't it.
Depp's hair is inexplicable. As is Jolie's accent.
Please stop talking/unnecessary expositioning.
Paul Bettany needs to do a decent movie some day.
"I shouldn't be here"- Jonny Depp. No, you shouldn't. Go back to doing something decent, like, um, Pirates 5?!
There is more background exposition in this film than actual action.
Worst bad guy ever!!! "I'm going to push bookcases over until you talk!!!" Gah!
Who actually knows who Depp's character is and who cares why he is who he isn't, but may not possibly be, if.
Jolie silently mouths "i love you" as Depp walks in super, super slow-mo across the room. I miss Brad Pitt.
Oh yeh, Timothy Dalton is in this film. For 26secs.
Final line: "It'll do". No, no I'm afraid it simply will not do.
So, in conclusion, yes it is as dire as you were told. Please avoid.
No comments:
Post a Comment