How to Sound Semi-Knowledgeable when talking Oscars 2011

For those of us who stayed up till Stupid O'clock to watch it streamed live on dodgy wifi connections, we have our reward in full. However, most normal people just want the bullet points so they can impress people with their general knowledge. So, really quickly, here are the key things you need to know about last night's 83rd Academy Awards:

The Oscars are "cool" - James Franco and Anne Hathaway (otherwise known as "those pretty young things") did their utmost to demonstrate that the Oscars are hip. However, Franco looked like he had taken a few too many chill pills, whereas Hathaway definitely needed a few more.

Don't do drugs kids

Surprise! - While it's no real surprise that The King's Speech won Actor in a leading role (Firth doing a thoroughly good job with a spiffing acceptance speech) and Best Picture, what was a surprise was that Hooper won best Director, especially given that the BAFTAs had given it to Fincher for Social Network. How terribly odd.


Unforgivable Snub #1 - While there were no huge surprises on the night, there were two notable snubs. The most horrendous oversight being that Christopher Nolan (pictured, in all his beauty, above) was not even nominated in the Best Director category for Inception. This is a particularly grave error when you consider the film was nominated for best picture and won Oscars for Sounds Editing, Sound mixing (whatever the difference is!), Visual Effects and Cinematography, all good indicators of a well directed film!


Unforgivable Snub #2 - Roger Deakins missed out in the Cinematography category for his work on True Grit. Now, Inception is a worthy winner, but consider that Deakins still has never won an Oscar, despite being responsible for such gems as The Assassination of Jesse James, The Shawshank Redemption, and pretty much the entire Coen Brothers back-catalogue, and you appreciate what an outright travesty this is!


Best Actor in a Supporting Lead role - Both best Actor and Actress in a Supporting Role went to The Fighter, with Christian Bale and Melissa Leo both picking up the hallowed Golden Fella - not to mention Amy Adams also being nominated! No problems there, but surely this is at least in part down to the brilliantly under-played central performance of Mark Walhberg, allowing the supporting roles to become larger than life, while he remains the peace in the storm, grounding the whole affair. Go team!


Best Film in the Foreign language that no-one has seen or probably ever will - Some kind of Danish effort called "In a Better World". I know nothing about it other than the poster looks really dull and intense.


Aron Sorkin won Best Adapted Screenplay - Nothing much to say, other than he is a dude, he did the best acceptance speech, choked up to cover the fact that he forgot his wife's name, and he once said a question that I asked him was, and I quote, "A good question..." Here's a picture because you love him...


And Finally... - Some kids sang "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" which almost made me throw up the inhuman amount of popcorn I had eaten. How NOT to end a show! I will leave you with a picture of the cherubs...

Review: Animal Kingdom

Animal Kingdom (15)

Director: David Michod

Cast: James Frecheville, Guy Pearce, Ben Mendelsohn

Darwin's theory of Evolution is a theme that Animal Kingdom, a gritty, urban gangster flick, commits to unravelling. In David Michod's feature debut, not everything that is strong survives - sometimes it is the weak that learn to succeed.

Teenager Joshua ‘J’ Cody (Frecheville) is thrown into a family of criminals who find themselves slowly spiraling out of control in the wake of murder, revenge and treachery. It is the sense of creeping doom, that is the film’s heart but also it’s biggest flaw. Over-reliance on long, slow-motion close-ups almost destroys any sense of momentum, feeling more ponderous than purposeful.

The cast, in the main, are excellent, it’s just a shame that most screen time is given to a teenage boy who is frustratingly awkward and completely devoid of charisma. In the film's opening scenes, Cody asserts that kids are wherever they are and do whatever they are doing, which unfortunately here, is very little.

Rated: 3/5

Review: True Grit

True Grit (15)

Director: Joel and Ethan Coen

Cast: Hailee Steinfeld, Jeff Bridges, Matt Damon, Josh Brolin

Taken more from the book by Charles Pontis than the 1969 John Wayne film, True Grit follows the journey of a teenage girl, Mattie (Steinfeld), attempting to track down her father's killer (Brolin), and enlisting the aid of a U.S Marshall (Bridges) to aide her act of vengeance.

Surprisingly for a Coen film, where characters are often cool but cold, and perhaps aided by the producer credit of Spielberg, here all the central protagonists are, dare we say it, loveable! The precocious Mattie is the thorough embodiment of the title, while Bridges excels as the irascible Rooster Cogburn, reveling in every incoherent drunken slur and wizened glare.

Set in the expansive and desolate American desert, long time Coen cinematographer Roger Deakins gives a soul to the wasteland, in the same way the brothers give life and humour to a host of vivid supporting characters and flawless dialogue, weaving together a rich tapestry which is both unique and utterly genius.

5/5

Top 5 Romantic Films: Valentine's Special

I'm not generally a rom-com fan. This is not, however, due to any sense of misplaced machoism - I'm waaaay too in touch with my feminine side. They are just so frustratingly formulaic:

Boy meets girl
Girl hates boy
Girl loves boy after accident or cosmic event
Boy lies/cheats/forgets 1 month anniversary/watches sport
Girl and boy argue
Girl moans to friends and eats ice-cream
Boy chases girl
Girl and boy kiss in the rain
End credits (optional montage of future bliss together)

Every so often, a romantic film comes along that plays with convention and turns out to actually be quite good.
Do your love life a favour - skip The Notebook, and watch one of these beauts instead. Romance 100% guarenteed (not a guarentee):

5 - 500 Days of Summer

Boy Meets girl. Boy falls in love. Girl doesn’t.

4- Pretty Woman

I am secretly a huuuuge fan of Julia Roberts, and her smile has never been bigger than in this, the greatest of all modern rom-coms.

3- Amelie

Much has been said already, by me, repeatedly, ad nauseum etc about how great this is. Totally insane but very, very wonderful.

2 - Empire Strikes Back

Before you argue, consider the immortal lines:

Leia: “I love you”

Solo: “I know”

Plus, not even Clarke Gable got himself frozen in carbonite for the woman he loved!

1 - Casablanca

THE most romantic film of all time - bar none! No film in the history of the universe has been more quoted (and misquoted), and no black and white film has ever made me cry like a little baby girl who has lost it's dummy.

Play it, Sam...

Review: Never Let Me Go

Never Let Me Go (12A)

Release: 11^th Feb

Director: Mark Romanek

Cast: Keira Knightley, Carey Mulligan, Andrew Garfield

Never Let Me Go is a Sci-fi film in the loosest possible sense. Set firmly in the alternative, yet familiar past, Alex Garland’s flawless screen adaptation of Kazuo Ishiguro’s novel, is a hauntingly beautiful portrayal of friends learning to embrace love and life, regardless of how short their time may be.

Growing up in a seemingly idyllic boarding school, Ruth (Knightley) Kathy (Mulligan) and Tommy (Garfield) gradually are forced to come to terms with the inevitable reality that awaits them. Their revelations are both heartbreaking and incredibly inspiring, reaching into the heart of what it is to be alive and the struggles that we each face.

The three young leads are exceptional in their understated portrayal, painfully assimilating the truth of their lives by route of a series of disturbing reveals. Director Mark Romanek’s second feature film is masterful, both in a thematic and visual sense, effortlessly weaving a thousand words into an image as simple as an abandoned boat on a desolate beach. Stunning.

Rating: 5/5

Ultimate Bondometer: From Russia With Love

From Russia With Love (1963)
Director: Terence Young
Cast: Sean Connery, Daniela Bianchi, Robert Shaw

From Russia With Love is perhaps the most Fleming-esque of all the Bond franchise. But does that make it the best?

The Ultimate Bondometer will decide...

Gadgets: 3/10

Huzzah, the first appearance of the legend that is Desmond Llewelyn as Q (though he is credited in this as Boothroyd). And along with this seminal character comes the first real gadget of the series:

The Attache case – A ‘nasty little Christmas present’ with a whole arsenal of bad-ass delights, including a tear gas cartridge, a knife, an apparently rather complex locking technique, and, most ingenious of all, a hidden compartment to keep coins!!! Move over, jet-pack-Bond.

Evil mastermind: 5/10

We have three evil SPECTRE characters up for the coveted role here:

Number 5 (Kronsteen) - chess genius, tactical maestro, ultimately inconsequential

Number 3 (Klebb) - Russian mad-woman who prefers to get involved on the field.

Number 1 (Blofeld) (a giggle-worthy Number 2 is conspicuously absent) - Ultimate dastardly credit must go to the most iconic of all the Bond super-villains, despite never actually seeing his face. Though most true Bond aficionados still hold to the theory that it was the cat's idea all along (just look at it's shifty, sinister eyes!).

Henchman: 7/10

Perhaps the most realistic and genuinely threatening villain that Bond must face, Donald ‘Red’ Grant (Robert Shaw) is a match for Bond in physical prowess, intelligence and gentlemanly conduct (even saving Bond's life so he can have a proper pop later on).

Girl: 8/10

Ah Tatiana (Daniela Bianchi)! The girl with a mouth that is just the right size, “for me that is”. My childhood sweetheart - though admittedly she was probably about 50 then. As Bond would put it - "One of the most beautiful girls I’ve ever seen". AND her surname is Bianchi! Well, clearly talent, looks and general star quality are hereditary! Sadly she does not scream.

One Liner: 2/10

Frustratingly few, as Bond is still a stone cold assassin with little room for witticisms.

After downing a helicopter with a shotgun: “I’d say one of their aircraft is missing.” Showing an uncanny ability to shake off a tense near-death experience with a simple pun.

Awesome Kill: 5/10

The killing of uber-agent “Old Man” Grant. One of most genuine threats to 007 in the whole series, Grant actually manages to mess up Bond’s hair! However, despite a great little contained fight sequence, the strangulation really is a little too quick.

Crazy, mental stunt: 4/10

Fighting a mad, Russian ginger man/woman with a pointy, poisonous shoe, using only a chair.

Opener: 6/10

Pre-credits sequence: Imagine, it you will, that you didn’t know Bond was to live for 21 more films. Imagine, if you can, that Tom Cruise in the M:I films had never attempted the multiple mask technique for avoiding recognition. The opening scene where Grant seemingly kills Bond must have actually been quite shocking! Now, it's pretty rubbish.

Credits: Compared to the shonky silhouette images of Dr No, this is sharper and more slick by a country mile. Plus the now legendary John Barry "007" theme makes it's first appearance, with the "From Russia Wit Love" overture being relegated to end credits.

Mode of Transportation: 3/10

Roughly 63.72% of the film is spent on the Orient Express which, according to the squiggly red line on the map of Europe, travels a really long way.

Sicklist Rating:8/10

While still confined by 60s greenscreen techniques and shocking dubbing, this is a far more recognisably modern Bond, with the key cornerstones of the franchise beginning to find shape. A tight thriller, with more exotic locales, and fantastical set-pieces, all pave the way for Bond's world to almost become fully defined.


Bondometer Total: 53/100
(New 1st Place)

Review: The Fighter

The Fighter (15)

Director: David O Russell

Cast: Mark Wahlberg, Christian Bale

Movies love boxing. From Raging Bull to Cinderella Man, Million Dollar Baby to On The Waterfront, Rocky to Rocky II, III, and on and on, the ring has yielded many heroes, each slugging it out for the title of Greatest Boxing Movie Ever.

Into the fray steps The Fighter, the true story of boxer Micky Ward’s (Wahlberg) rise from stepping stone fighter to championship belt-winner, and his half-brother/trainer Dicky’s (Bale) battle with drugs and frustrated ambition. Treading a line between the hard-edged realism of De Niro’s La Motta and the everyman hero of Stallone’s Balboa (without the sentimentality that crippled the latter Rocky films), The Fighter is a lean, energetic, engrossing story of divided loyalties and the pursuit of greatness.

Rooted in the achingly working class Lowell, Massachusetts, Micky’s family are doggedly faithful, albeit with underlying mixed motives, enforcing long-held values of family-first on the rising athlete. Bale excels as the flawed older brother, committing to the role entirely by once again losing a painful amount of weight, the camera documenting his every demented action and gurning grin. The real revelation here, however, is Wahlberg, embodying the weary boxer with sensitivity and poise, an anchored lead in a cast full of wonderfully stormy characters.

The fight scenes too, are as good as any found in the best of boxing films, given extra impact by being based on real events, and avoiding any tendency toward sensationalism. In a cast dominated by two powerhouse leads, The Fighter finds depth in it’s wealth of supporting characters. Amy Adams, enhances her burgeoning CV as the supportive, yet opinionated girlfriend, while the splendid Jack McGee, as the put-upon father of Micky and the husband of Alice Ward (a deliciously manipulative Melissa Leo), provides the film’s warm centre. The Fighter is an inspiring story of both Micky and Dicky’s fight, in and out of the ring, to overcome expectations, regrets and prejudices, to carve their individual paths to success, as well as being a rollicking fight flick to boot.

Rating: 4/5